The first time I was called a ****** to my face

In 1984, I worked in the layaway dept of a discount store. One Saturday, there was a line of customers waiting to pay on/pay off on their layaway balance. There were two of us clerk working the counter that busy afternoon. My coworker who is white and me (black) took turns working the front desk and retrieving packages for pick up. I was in the back retrieving a package when I heard an irritated customer demanding his package from my coworker. I stepped up front to assist her. I get the information needed to find the package and told the customer that I would assist in finding his package. I asked him and his wife to step out of line while I go retrieve their package. The wife, quietly, stepped to the side. Her husband stepped to the side but he was still upset with the delay. I looked for the package and couldn't find it either. I tell the man and his wife that I could not find their package. I quickly followed up saying, I would call the manager. He starts yelling that i was an incompetent ****** and that he wanted a manager NOW. The sound of him calling me a ****** in front of a line of customers (all of whom were white) all looking directly at me made my blood boil! I kept my composure and excused myself from the front counter. I went behind the wall and quietly threw my fists at the air, as if i were fighting. Holding back the tears, I quickly regained my composure. I was 23 years old and had never been called a ****** to my face. Although, it seemed like a long time, my "venting" was about 60 seconds at most. With my demeanor in check, I returned to the counter at the same time my manager appeared. The man pointed at me and told my manager that her incompetent worker lost his package. I hear him. I ignore him. I continued helping the next customer in line. Meanwhile, my coworker was a nervous wreck. My manager had a time calming the man down and he and his wife left. without their package. The wife never said a word, but her face clearly showed embarrassment. Customers were upset with the man's behavior. Once he was gone many of them complimented me on my reaction... or lack of reaction dealing with this man. About 20 mins later, I look up and their was the wife, alone. I became a bit nervous; looking over her shoulder for her husband. I look at her and notice she had a pretty artificial red velvet rose with white lace. I look at her. She looked at me and spoke. She said, "I am so sorry for my husband's behavior. Please take this rose as an apology on my behalf for my husband". I accepted the rose, smiled and said, "Thank you". I didn't feel the need for any other words. Her apology was on her behalf. He embarrassed her..... and I'd bet it wasn't the first or the last time. She had to go home with him. I didn't. Deep inside, I felt that he was baiting me for a hostile reaction to validate his definition of a ******. I was angry and hurt as this man attempted to berate me. I never felt embarrassed or inferior. I was taught to know my worth in all situations. This was my first experience with this type of behavior. It toughened me. It polished me. It strengthened me. It prepared me for other encounters like this later in life. 💫